19 August 2017

Femininity Friday: Of Spenders and Savers

The Accolade - Edmund Blair Leighton - Public Domain

Since part of August's focus in my online group concerns the always touchy subject of Family Finances,  I read with particular interest this article from The Journal of Financial Planning.  

The researchers found the following concerns for husbands who were experiencing financial distress in their marriages: "perceptions of a spendy wife, having financial worries, reporting a lower income, having three or more children, and having a wife who thinks he is too spendy" (from the executive summary). I believe the most interesting word in that summary to be "perceptions."  I noted that only one of those concerns is concrete: having at least three children.  Everything else was abstract or, at least, an unclear comparative.  Apparently, the stressor wasn't so much that the wife was a spender but that the husband perceived her as such.  I thought immediately of a wife's thriftiness and how much that might help a husband to perceive his wife as thrifty rather than as "spendy" (definition: extravagant).  Perhaps a wife might help her husband's perceptions by telling him how much she had saved or by showing him her coupon collection or some other evidence of her thrift.

By way of comparison, the researchers found the following concerns for wives in financially distressed marriages: "having a husband who thinks she is too spendy, feeling a lack of communication with her husband, having financial worries, having a husband with low income, and having perceptions of a spendy husband" (from the executive summary).  "Having a husband with low income" might be independently verifiable and, therefore, concrete (i.e., a family with an income below the poverty line would have a verifiable low income).  The remainder of the factors, again, were abstract.  

Since I am not married right now, for me, the "take home" from the article was to check my financial distress for a concrete cause rather than a perception that may or may not have a basis in fact.  As the saying goes, "your mileage may vary."

I hope that my woman-to-woman ideas have helped.

Agape always,

Link:  https://www.onefpa.org/journal/Pages/MAY17-Tightwads-and-Spenders-Predicting-Financial-Conflict-in-Couple-Relationships.aspx

14 August 2017

My New "Baby" has Arrived!

Cover of the chronological edition of my "blogoir."

Dear Ladies,

I finally (!) finished the first of the two editions of my memoir based on my blog, a blogoir.  

Half of the readers who were kind enough to vote in my "Help Me Organize My Blogoir" post chose chronological order and half chose thematic order, so I decided to assemble both.  

Compiling and connecting a thematic work turns out to be much more complex that I had anticipated (live and learn); therefore, I decided to go ahead with the chronological book first.

I would very much appreciate your prayers for the book's success.  I do hope that you will look at the eBook and, if you feel it would meet your needs, honor me with a purchase.  In addition to purchasing the book from my Etsy site, you can obtain the book from me directly.  Please leave me a comment or write to me at berengerfamily [at sign] yahoo [dot] com for details.  Thank you.

May God continue to heap blessings on you and yours!

Agape always,

Link:  https://www.etsy.com/listing/551140893/life-as-a-fascinating-woman-the?ref=shop_home_feat_4

04 August 2017

Femininity Friday: The Pleasure of Being a Woman

Jeanne Moreau - Jacques Fresco - CC by SA 3.0 via WikiCommons

One of my favorite actresses and another of my femininity stars died this past week.  I chose this particular image of Jeanne Moreau out of the many available via WikiCommons because it shows me (and you, I hope) the lesson of remaining feminine and girlish even well into old age.  Here, Mme Moreau is in her eighties, but she has accessorized in a very cute manner, has styled her hair a girlish hairdo, and is wearing light makeup that compliments her coloring.

Although Jeanne Moreau's acting amazed me and brought me and her millions of other worldwide fandom great joy, one of her roles impacted my philosophy of life and my teaching of femininity and marriage enrichment: her role as Amande in Nikita.  The film itself is powerful, showing the redemption of a young woman, by love, in the midst of an extremely violent and amoral world.  Although the film includes no nudity that I recall (many years have passed since I viewed the film), it is horrifically violent and deserves its "R" rating.

In the film, Amande is part of the young woman's preparation to become a state assassin for France.   In one of the pivotal scenes of the film, Amande makes the following short speech to Nikita, a speech that impacted my thinking about femininity (my translation from the French):

Let yourself be guided by pleasure, the pleasure of being a woman.  And don't forget that there are two things that are limitless: femininity and the ability to exploit it.

The first part of the speech revolutionized my thinking about Mrs. Andelin's work.  Everything about femininity exists to bring us pleasure: appearance, behavior, temperament, being a fascinating companion, living our other feminine roles.  All of this is given to women by God, I believe, to bring us pleasure.

The second part of the speech taught me that without the character teachings in her work, femininity could be used exploitively.

Here follows links to articles about Mme Moreau as well as the speech I referenced above from Nikita.

From The Wikipedia:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeanne_Moreau

From The Telegraph:  http://www.telegraph.co.uk/fashion/people/five-ways-jeanne-moreau-nailed-take-french-chic/

02 August 2017

Wondering Wednesday: "I Love My Job: Do I Have to Quit?"

Courtesy of Microsoft
As I proceeded through the assembly of my blogoir, I noticed a post that I had originally written in 2012 but never posted.  The question remains relevant five years later.

My short answer is simple. Of course not. You are an adult and can do as you wish. Mrs. A worked outside the home early in her marriage, and Mrs. B (me) worked outside the home and works outside the home due to financial necessity.

My long answer is more complex. Legitimate work of any kind, done diligently, raises the dignity of the person. Homemaking and child-rearing are both vocation and work, with eternal rewards and consequences.  According to Saint Paul, women are to put their husbands and children as the first of their earthly concerns and to take good care of their homes.  That is difficult to do if one is working away from the home forty hours a week.  Ideally, and especially if a woman has dependent children, she would devote herself to her family, living the Four Feminine Roles to the utmost. 

I hope that my little "woman-to-woman" ideas have helped. 

28 July 2017

Femininity Friday: My Femininity Star

Photo of Mrs. Kennedy Typing - 1960 - Public Domain
Dear Ladies,

I hope that you all are doing good, feeling well, and sharing your joie de vivre with others.

Today is a special day for me, for it is the birthday of my "Femininity Star," Mrs. John F. Kennedy, better known as Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy.  (I don't recognize her marriage to Onassis; I believe that while the marriage was legal, it wasn't valid.)  

Was Mrs. Kennedy a perfect person?  No, she decidedly was not.  She was, like the rest of us, a sinner and had her full share of faults.  For me,  however, Mrs. Kennedy served as a model of an intelligent woman who was secure enough in herself that she could remain a feminine woman, too.  Although Mrs. Kennedy dressed in beautiful couture clothing, my favorite photograph features her in a house dress at a typewriter, just as I am myself so many times.

Who is your Femininity Star?  Who helps provides a model for you to emulate in some way?  I would love to know, so please leave me a comment if you like or link to this post and share your ideas on your own blog.

I hope that my "woman-to-woman" ideas have helped.

Agape always,